conch_shell

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 23:32:45 GMT

15 more, most were reservists, has anyone heard from Asa?

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 03:21:58 GMT

I just got in from pretending that all was ok with the world and found out about the missile headed towards you guys that was intercepted. I really don't know what to say. I guess I just wanted you all to know ... I have no idea what I want you to know, words elude me at this moment, but I just want you to know that I am thinking and worrying about you all.

PLEASE STAY SAFE

And if you hear about ASA, please contact me. He was supposed to be in today and I haven't heard from him.

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 15:57:42 GMT

Ten people were killed outright in the explosion, and another person died a few hours later of his wounds, Israeli emergency services said — the highest toll from a rocket attack since the conflict began on July 12. Israel's Channel Two television reported that nine of those killed were reserve paratrooper soldiers.

ok, now tell me not to worry!

HI

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 04:09:32 GMT

I don't know what to do. Maybe I should stop watching tv, but it seems so wrong. You all are going through this and I can't pretend that it isn't happening. I think about you guys all the time. Worry, cry, educate, and debate Israeli history and politics whether I want to or not.

Today, I woke up and there was nothing on TV about Israel. I was so hopeful and happy. I remember thinking that that was a really good sign. Then I got a text from Asa telling me that his reserve group will be "away" for a few days, he wasn't allowed to say where, but not to worry, it wasn't anything "too dangerous".

Yeah, and I believe in Santa Claus too.

I hope the craziness ends soon. I hope all of you, your families and friends are all ok. I hope for a lot of things, and pray that they come true.

I am so sorry. As always, if you need or want anything... and my house is always open....

Looking at the Middle East through the eyes of the TV.

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:23:13 GMT

I know I haven't posted in a LONG time, and I am sorry for that. It's been a long hard year. But now, I can be egocentric no longer. Every time I turn on the TV or internet, news from over there seems to get scarier. I worry about all of you. I don't know what to say or do, so I just cross my fingers, repete the Catholic prayers I learned as a child, and then check the news every chance I get, hoping that all is getting better. I know that you aren't interested, but as always the offer stands, I have room for anyone who wants to come here. Merced is not a great place, but at least, at the moment, we aren't fielding bombs.

My mother has brought me kicking and screaming into the 21 Century and so I now actually have a cell phone that text messages to Israel (I did the Israeli text message part, not her.) If you ever need to contact me for anything, feel free to text me at 209-349-2279. Sorry, you will have to figure our the country code. I just know how to call IN to Israel, not OUT.

PEACE,
and I mean that with all my heart,
Lysa

Michael Moore

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 03:35:16 GMT

I so love Michael Moore .

11/19/05

Dear Mr. Bush:

I would like to extend my hand and invite you to
join us, the mainstream American majority. We,
the people -- that's the majority of the people --
share these majority opinions:

1. Going to war was a mistake -- a big mistake.

2. You and your administration misled us into
this war.

3. We want the war ended and our troops brought
home.

4. We don't trust you.

Now, I know this is a bitter pill to swallow.
Iraq was going to be your great legacy. Now, it's
just your legacy. It didn't have to end up this
way.

This week, when Republicans and conservative
Democrats started jumping ship, you lashed out at
them. You thought the most damning thing you could
say to them was that they were "endorsing the
policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme
liberal wing of the Democratic party." I mean, is
that the best you can do to persuade them to stick
with you -- compare them to me? You gotta come up
with a better villain. For heaven's sakes, you
had a hundred-plus million other Americans who
think the same way I do -- and you could have picked
on any one of them!

But hey, why not cut out the name-calling and the
smearing and just do the obvious thing: Come join
the majority! Be one of us, your fellow
Americans! Is it really that hard? Is there really any
other choice? George, take a walk on the wild side!

Your loyal representative from the majority,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

Chocolate Brownie, but sometimes Strawberry Shortcake

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:44:40 GMT

I received this from one of my co-workers.

Dessert Test

No cheating. If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front
of you, which would you choose? Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you!

Angel Food Cake
Brownies
Lemon Meringue Pie
Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Icing
Strawberry Short Cake
Chocolate Icing on Chocolate Cake
Ice Cream
Carrot Cake

NO. You can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be!

ANGEL FOOD CAKE... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day.Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

BROWNIES... You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

LEMON MERINGUE... Smooth, sexy, and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many good friends.

VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING... Fun loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation.Everyone enjoys being around you. You are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. ! You also tend to melt. You can be overly emotional at times. And sometimes can be annoying.

CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE... Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

ICE CREAM... You like sports, whether it is baseball, football,basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance!

CARROT CAKE... You are a very fun loving person, who ! likes to laugh.You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 19:47:59 GMT

Yanchy came for my grandmother at 8:37am today.

She didn't have her teeth in, but he didn't seem to care.

Death Be Not Proud

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 06:13:29 GMT

When my grandfather died my job was to sit with my grandmother in front of the coffin for three days. On the third day, a few hours before we closed the lid, she crawled into it with him. For years after that my only memory of my grandfather was the look and feel of his lifeless cardboard-like body as I pulled my grandmother off of him. This was the first death that I remember and I was haunted by it for years to come.

Since that day though,I,like us all, have had friends and acquaintances die. Killed in an accident, of a heart attack... When I worked on the rescue squad I held people's hands as they died on the way to the hospital or did CPR in unfulfilled hopes that they would somehow be survive, but this is the first time I have watched someone wither away in front of my eyes. My grandmother, who less than one year ago helped my mother drive 1500 miles to my cousin's wedding, is slowly wasting away in the next room. There is nothing that any of us can do for her except keep her comfortable and wait, like vultures, for her passing.

When I got here on thursday, she slept a lot, but held full conversations when she was awake. "Leelee, how are your friends in Pakistan? Did they survive the earthquake?" Were the first words she said when she saw me. Yet before I could answer her head was back and her eyes closed. Over the last three days, she has slowly declined further. She asks for ice, then falls asleep while putting the spoon to her mouth. She tries to get up, then cries because she doesn't want to.

Yesterday, overcome by the thought of messing herself, she literally ran to the bathroom. Then, exhausted by the act, she passsed out on the toilet. I held her up, while my aunt spoke to her about going "home". Home to my grandfather who has been waiting for her for the last 20 years. Home where she wasn't tired any longer. Home where she was young and whole again. Her eyes rolled, her head fell back, and her body went limp. I slowly lifted her off of the toilet, out of the bathroom and into her bed. I was sure that the end was near. Then it came. The voice of a mother chastising her naughty child. " You lied to me! Yanchy isn't here!" But then,"My teeth! If Yanchy is coming I need to have my teeth! He can't see me without my teeth!" And so my aunt and I put her teeth in and she waited. Rejuvenated, by the thought of seeing my grandfather again, she spoke of her life. At 93 she has experienced a lot. The first car, the first TV set, The Depression, two world wars, a man on the moon and 20 years without my grandfather. Time passed and soon again she was asleep.

Yanchy hasn't come for her yet. She calls for him when the pain medicine is wearing off. He is close, and I don't believe that I am saying this, but for her sake, I hope he comes soon, she has waited long enough.

A quote I read other day...

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 20:28:15 GMT

*"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters
will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to
the Internet, we know this is not true."*
Robert Wilensky

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 05:27:55 GMT

Q: What is George W. Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade?

A: He really doesn't care how black people get out of New Orleans.

Wow! The first person I met who actually believed this.

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 12:14:02 GMT

I was at a party the other evening and met a young Syrian woman who recently moved to Merced to study at the university that has been built here. I spoke with her for a while, talking about my asinine president, American ethnocentrism and so on. Although young, she seemed pretty educated, aware. Soon though, she mention Israel. I figured she would be happy with the with drawl. Excited about the steps towards peace that were happening in the Middle East. But alas, no. Before I knew it she was spewing rhetoric that I had only heard of people believing. She wanted all Israelis squashed to the sea, she was proud of each and every bomber.

Wow! I just couldn't believe that someone could actually be like that. I mean, I knew that there were people who believed that way, but I had never met one in person, and you are talking to someone who stumbled into Palestinian territory while driving around.

So typical of me,I spoke of my friends in Israel.Of people going to jail rather than to defend settlements in Gaza. People writing articles and working for a change. Of innocent people being killed by the bombs while going to work...

Nothing worked. So I politely left. She called out,"We will put them in the sea!Their blood will spurt across the land!"

Today I woke up and had this e-mail waiting for me. I'm not looking for a rebuttal, I just saw this and needed to share it. In all honesty I find it scary, I never gave her my e-mail address.

I want to talk about Palestine and what so-called Israel. Have
you noticed that I said" what so-called"? That means that I don't
admire that there is a state of Israel but it's Occupied Palestine.
I wish you aren't brainwashed by those who talked sitting and
standing about the Historical Jewish Right in Palestine because
their grand grand fathers slipped one day by Palestine and killed
its people and lived then the rest of the original Arabic people
boot them away and get their lands free. And that happened thousands
years ago. Then what do you hope that this young man who see that
foreign occupied his land ,his house and farm and killed tens of his
family, destroyed his school and college ,destroyed his mosque and
foot on his Holy Book and insult his prophet, and stole his food and
worthies. Do you hope that he clap? Smile? Go and say thanks? Say"
Come on, let's forget and live peacefully on my ,oh sorry, YOUR
LAND!!?? I'll say it and say what ever you want because that's the
right and sometimes it could cause in problems charges to who say
it. HIS HUMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO DEFEND HIM SELF, HIS LAND, HIS PEOPLE
AND GET FREE, AND ALSO BOOT AWAY THE ONES WHO OCCUPIED, KILLED AND
DESTROYED his lands ,his past ,his present and are going to destroy
his future.
How does he differentiate between ones who killed and ones who
accept agreed, came and lived in his home. I'm sorry for your
friends who are guiltless, but I should not forget to be so sorry
for the millions of guiltless in Palestine and Iraq who are
forgotten by most of the world . Besides, I think that it was better
to your dear friend not to live and come to the land that his
brothers or cousins occupied and took, no, bought by blood and
tragedies. It's better for him to work hard to correct the false,
which occupiers made and told to people in Europe and America who
believed it easily. I know some Jew who I really respect from the
group of Natori Kharkat, who refuses Israel and work hard very hard
to correct the situation in America, and ,even ,share Arabs and
Muslims in the remonstrations against Israel. But jew shall never have Palestine for long. They give up one part and the world say how good how nice. I say we never rest, never until all of Palestine one. All together, and jews dead in the sea.

really funny link

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 20:10:49 GMT

http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

Great Website!

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 13:31:59 GMT

A wonderful website trying to show the some of the crazies in my country just how crazy they are.

http://www.venganza.org/index.htm

Don't bother reading this, I just needed to put a coherent sentence together.

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 01:41:02 GMT

I promised myself that I wouldn't write anything negative. That I wouldn't complain about my family or how lonely I am, so then in keeping in the vein of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I haven't written.

Actually it really isn't true that nothing good happened, I have had a good time with my niece and nephew, something that never happened before. I don't know why my brother and sister in law finally decided to allow me to spend time with their children, but I am grateful that they did. I took my niece to Chuck E Cheese. This horribly American pizza place. For $30 we got cardboard pizza and 22 tokens to play games and for her to go on rides. It was a 7 year old's dream, and she had a great time before some kid stole my mother's camera. What really irked me was that you could see it in his pocket and he kept on saying,"That ain't your camera in my pocket!" I kept on screaming out for a guard to come, but no one did, and so when I went to get one, he handed it off to his father. Nothing could be done about it. I had to go home and tell my mother that her $500 dollar camera was stolen. Let's just say she wasn't amused. Every day she drives me down to the place to ask the manager on duty if it has been returned. I think she is getting off on my embarrassment and pain. Maybe she sees it as penance for my sin. I have no idea. But my niece had a good time, so I am going to say that is all that matters.

Next I took my nephew camping for 3 days. I taught him all the things I believe his father should have taught him, like how to make a fire and set up a tent. I took him rock climbing, caving, and hiking. He had a great time, and I am going to say that it is really cool that his first exposure (and maybe his last?) to all of these outdoor skills was from his AUNT.

But upon our return things started to take a turn for the worse. Since they couldn't remove her cancer, the doctors rerouted my grandmother's stomach. It seems that except for the cancer blocking the food from leaving her stomach and slowly starving her to death, she was amazingly healthy. The by -pass was supposed to work as far as allowing her to eat and have a semi-normal life until the cancer spread. But now there is trouble with the by-pass. She has lost 5 pounds in the past week. I don't think that she has much longer.

My mother is besides herself. At 70 years of age she works in the morning and then picks me up and we go on errants for my grandmother. The whole time in the car my mother tells me horror stories of her life as a child with my grandmother. Never before have I heard these stories, I don't know if they are because she was "shielding' me from the truth when I was young, or this is her way of coping with her mother's death. In all reality, it is probably a mixture of both. So I sit and listen, knowing that there isn't anything else I can really do.Then we then return home to my father who is slowly getting Alzheimer’s. This once great mathematical mind, that designed and built a microwave telecommunications system in the 70's, can't figure out how to turn his computer on now. I have rerouted his computer, printer, scanner, digital camera... so that everything needs only a push of a button. Then I wrote a book for him on how to do everything. I even printed out icons and diagrams. He was besides himself. I don't know which was worse for him, that it needed to be done, or that his daughter did it for him.

Deep down, I know that the book was just a crutch. He really doesn't need it. He sleeps most of the day, and then yells at me the rest. My mother apologized with tears in her eyes for his acid tongue, but I realized that by me taking his crap, I was shielding her from it.

Then I dealt with my Uncle. The one who was so horrible to me over Thanksgiving. My aunt and mother had spoken to him about how horrible he was to me and he of course told them I deserved it. On the 4th of July- the US Independence Day, my aunt had a large party and of course invited him. I told everyone I was going to boycott the party, not just for my sake, but for all of them too. They had all told me horror stories of atrocities he had visited upon them. I told them that somebody had to stop the co-dependency, but I was begged to attend, for my grandmother's and niece and nephew's sake. They promised me that they would make sure that he was civil. So I went.

Of course he was worse. Poking and prodding me, he called me a whore, told me how worthless I was and pointed to the fact that I am the only one not married or with children. On and on the epitaphs went. All the usual ones, FAT,, UGLY, WHORE, WORTHLESS, HELL BENT... What?...Do they put men into a special class in high school on how to insult a woman?

People asked him to stop, but he wouldn't. So I put him in his place. I called him a shallow, self defacing, misogynistic, anal spelunker. Of course he had no idea what I called him and then used this fact to prove what a waste of time educating me was. The fact that I used words that he didn't know was absolute proof that I was having sex with men. ?????????????? And this was proof that I was a whore. I walked away telling him to contine to reside in his imaginary brothel.

No one in my family has spoken to me about the incident. I have no idea how they feel. I also have no idea of when to leave. I am lonely and hurt here and want to run away, and yet I feel that if I am not here, I will regrete it in the future.

My family strikes again.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 16:33:47 GMT

I sometimes wonder why I ever have anything to do with my family. Last week, my parents were supposed to visit me. I wasn't all that excited about them being here, especially my father who is very racist. I figured I could start a pool on how long it would be before the man called one of my multi-racial students a "mulatto", "Chink", "Gook", or "wetback" to their parent's face. Additionally, I wondered how long it would be before he called me a whore and told some story about how he had to worry about "who was unzipping my jeans" to my principal. But they wanted to come, and I deluded myself into believing that if they actually were here and saw the amazing things I have done with my students and their parents, that maybe, just maybe, they would stop believing I was a failure for not following their path in life.

Last thursday though, I got a big surprise. They called and told me that my 94 year old grandmother was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Obviously they weren't coming. But now since my family doesn't really know what kind of questions to ask, this past week has been spent with me on the phone to Albuquerque, NM about 1500 miles from where I live. The doctors were often condescending and didn't give any decent information, but eventually we learned enough to decide that my grandmother would have an operation and risk dieing on the table rather then slowing starving to death. She went into the hospital yesterday and will be operated on on monday.

Now here's the real kicker! Since my grandmother knew my parents were coming to visit me, my mother didn't want my grandmother to be upset that they were now not coming. She also didn't want my grandmother to realize how sick she was, so she told her I ran away to Australia. With the lie introduced, my grandmother relaxed, but I started fielding calls from relatives telling me just how horrible a person they believed I was. Yes parents, hide your children! The worthless, unreliable, whore is back! Everyone seemed to believe that I would just quit my job a week before school ended, run away to the other end of the world, leave my grandmother to die, and my mother to deal with the ramifications on her own. When I finally convinced some relatives that I obviously was here because they called me at a CA number, and that my mother had made the story up to put my grandmother's mind at ease,I was then called a selfish bitch for not allowing my mother's lie to perpetuate. In other words, "I made my mother look bad."

So here I sit, my grandmother in the hospital waiting for surgery, and no way to go and see her. Yes, I know that I could just fly or drive to Albuquerque, walk into her room and ignore everyone else, something I have considered doing, but when I mentioned this to my father the other day, he literally passed out on the phone. No one was around but him, and all I heard from his end of the phone was, "Ahhh, urrmmmm, aaarrrrgooaaa..." After going crazy trying to find a relative to call, I called his local rescue squad. I am now in double hot water, one for going to Australia and one for making my father so upset that he had to be hospitalized.

You just can't win for losing.

An Open Letter From One of My Students

Sun, 08 May 2005 17:06:59 GMT

Dear Miss Lysa's friends,

Miss Lysa said there was another holiday in your country. (You guys sure have lots of holidays over there.) She told us that this holiday was to remember what happened to a lot of Jewish people in WWII. Then she started telling us about people being made to live in ghettos and wearing yellow stars on their clothes. Then having everything stolen and having to go to camps where a lot were killed. At first none of us believed her. It seemed so crazy. Then a kid in our class started to talk. He is Japanese. His family had to go to camps in California during WWII because they were Japanese. His grandfather came in and talked to us about it. He was 4 years old. He said he was scared all the time. When he finished talking to us he told us how he was lucky because in the camps in America they didn't kill people.

Then Miss Lysa read us some books about children hiding. Some children lived for years with people they didn't know. Others hid in horrible places like outdoor toilets. GROSS!!!! Then she read us a book about 20 christian children who risk their life to hide 10 Jewish children. At first I was like, "This is really stupid! I mean now instead of 10 children dying, 30 are going to die. Then at the end of the book we compared what happened in the Holocaust to what happened in America in the south.

Then it really hit me. My dad is black and I would be really angry if someone killed me just because my dad is black. I mean, I don't think of myself as black, I have light skin and I don't act ghetto. But on my tests for Mr. Bush and stuff I have to put black. Miss Lysa said it was the same for Jewish people in Germany. Many didn't think of themselves as Jewish, they thought of themselves as German. Some didn't even practice their religion. (That's sad because you have FUN HOLIDAYS and yummy food. I like laktes, and matza, and the sweet stuff you put on the matza on passover. BUT I hate the horseradish.)

Then Miss Lysa read us a poem about people coming to get people and someone not doing anything about it because they weren't from that group. At the end there was no one to protect the writer because everyone else was gone. Miss Lysa asked us what we thought about the poem and lots of people said it was real good because it told people to care for other people. Then Miss Lysa asked us if we thought that protecting people just so that they would be there to protect you was really good. We decided, "NO!" We decided you need to stop racism just because it is the right thing to do. We decided that we needed to stop all kinds of racism, because it is all the same. And it is all wrong.

Miss Lysa says that there are good and bad people in every religion and culture and that you guys were some of the good people she met in Israel.So I want you to know that I have an extra bed in my house and if you guys ever need to hid you can.

Amal
9 years old

PS. When I hear about the bombing over there, I get really mad at the people for bombing you. But then Miss Lysa said that some Israelis are really mean to the arabs. That's not nice. Could you please stop that.

Thu, 05 May 2005 10:04:08 GMT

I was really intrigued with this theory that I read about. It states that the Passover story is a bunch of bunk. I didn't want to post it last week. It seemed sacrilegious during Passover. But now that it is over...

The Problem of the Exodus Story
Since scholars can now read the records of the ancient Egyptians with the ease of a modern newspaper we now can conclude that there is no evidence from the records of Egypt itself that the events of Exodus ever occurred. Additionally, there is absolutely no archaeological evidence in the manner in which the Bible describes the events. This is, at the very least, strange. The reality is that if a series of plagues had been visited upon Egypt, thousands of slaves escaped in a mass runaway, and the army of the Pharaoh was swallowed up by the Red Sea, such events in some form or another, would doubtlessly have made it into the Egyptian documentary or the archaeological record. But the reality is that there isn't a single word or remnant describing any such events.

So what information do we have?

The highlands of northern Israel have a highly variable climate. Agricultural productivity, and the ability of people to sustain trade with the lowlands, was subject to varying climatic conditions, meaning that famine was a frequent occurrence. When crops failed and trade could not be sustained, it was not uncommon for the people of this area to flee the region and head for refuge where crops were dependable. The nearest such place was the Nile delta in Egypt. This event was so common, and the refugees so numerous, that they eventually became a substantial minority group, influential in Egypt, where they were known as the Hyksos.

The Hyksos grew in influence until they eventually took control of parts of Egypt, which they ruled, with considerable cruelty and tyranny during the Fifteenth Dynasty, beginning in 1670 B.C.E. About a century later in 1570 B.C.E. the Egyptians had finally had enough and rebelled against the rule of the Hyksos. They drove them out, pushing them back into Canaan with considerable force, driving them all the way to the Syrian frontier, sacking and burning Canaanite cities along the way.

In addition to the lack of evidence to support the enslavement of this group of people and their expedient mass evacuation, extensive archaeological surveys of the Sinai desert have never shown any encampments dating from the time of the Exodus, either before, during or after the time of the Ramsean pharaohs. At least two sites mentioned in the exodus story have been positively identified and carefully and extensively excavated, but no evidence of late bronze-age occupation or encampment has been found at either site. Additionally, the Sinai Desert was literally dotted with Egyptian military outposts, and nowhere in the Sinai could the Hebrews have been more than a day's travel from one of them. Therefore it is inconceivable that they could have remained undetected in the Sinai for forty years.

The story of the Exodus is clearly myth making designed to portray a possible forced expulsion of oppressors as an escape of victims.

This was a condensed version of the information that I read, here is the actual link.

http://www.bidstrup.com/bible.htm

Jesus food

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 07:29:51 GMT

I'm really getting into this "I've been to the Holy Land" stuff. My newest venture was making humus, babaganous (tahini eggplant) and pita, and bringing it to a church party that I spoke at today on a platter with olives and pickles. I called it "Jesus Food" and people lined up to try it.

"Is this really from Israel?" they asked in awe.

"Well, I bought the ingredients and made it here, but this is the type of food they eat in Israel, especially at parties." I told them and then showed a photo of the table from Yossi and Itimar's house warming party.

"Wow, and Jesus ate this food!?"

"I'm not so sure," I responded, truly not wanting to mislead people. "I don't know when people first started making this type of food, but they eat it there now."

"Well, things don't really change that much over there.", some guy with a t-shirt that said "saved.' on it, stated with absolute certainty.

I refrained from asking where and how he was lost and said, "Actually, Israel has changed an awful lot lately. My friend Lisa Jean spent time on a Kibbutz in the early 80s and when we talk about our experiences there, they are very, very different."

"Really." Mr. Saved responded, obviously not all that interested. "Maybe some of the Jewish places have changed, but the Christian places, like Jerusalem haven't. I know. I seen it on tv and it looked real old."

At this point, I gave up trying to even hold a conversation. I mean, what's the point? I shoved some more hummus at them and collected $100 for my services.

I won't be in demand for much longer. After Passover, no one will want to have me speak for a while.

Passover you ask. They actually know about Passover? Of couse. Some chuches celebrate it. It is when God brought the Christians out of Slavery. So what if it suspostedly happened more than 1000 years before Jesus. "All of them peoples would have been Christian if Jesus had been born!"

President Walking Eagle

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 16:11:14 GMT

President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval.

Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers".

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they come to select the new name given to the President.

They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 08:12:32 GMT

I got a call from this woman asking me to talk tonight at a "bible study" class. Since I had nothing else to do and I need the money-I've spend way too much on my new house, I said, "Yes." I found the whole thing hilarious. I mean here is this agnostic quoting the bible and showing people photos of Israel and saying, "Now this is... It is where Jesus..."

On top of it, I showed up with all my photos of YOU GUYS as well. Every time a question arose like, "Do the Israelis have electricity?" or "Do Israelis know how to use toilets?" (Really, I do get that question.)I showed them a photo. "He is a house with lights." "Here is a bathroom with a toilet."

Guess what amazed them the most? A photo of the inside of the mall near the university. Look everyone, a mall! There is a mall in Israel and it even has a movie theater!"

At the end I poured dirt from Asa's parents backyard into little cups for them. Then I got a check for $200. I think all that time in the Mongolian Restaurant, watching people fork over oodles of money to be dunked in the Jordan really paid off!

San Francisco- What a place!

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 22:15:47 GMT

I just returned from a protest in San Francisco marking the second anniversary of the US invading Iraq. Since it was raining, only the hard core people were there. All these "coalitions" supposedly protesting the war, but actually promoting their pet issue. First there were "Gays against the War" who wouldn't let me walk with them because I didn't know for sure that I was straight since I have never had sex with a woman.

Then there was the group "radical bicyclists for freedom" who were riding down the street declaring that streets were the reason for the war and that they therefore needed to be taken out and everyone given a bicycle.

Next were the "Naked People for Peace in the Middle East" who told me that if everyone was just open and naked, peace would reign all throughout the world.

Oh, yes I felt so at home. I felt like making a sign, "American who feels we shouldn't kill people just so we can have the cheapest gas in the world." But I couldn't find a place to buy the poster paper. Oh, well, on the third anniversary of the war. I doubt we will have left the area yet, even if we have already started drilling in ANWAR and destroying the last pristine wilderness in the world.

Sorry for being a stupid America, but...

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 06:36:21 GMT

Are you guys all alright? I just read the news of the bomber in Tel Aviv and got worried. I don't freak out like I used to do before I spent time in Israel, but now, because of that knowledge, I know that this one was really close.

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 00:17:40 GMT

Warning from the Centers for Disease Control( CDC )

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.

This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lecthym (Pronounced "Gonna Re-elect Him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past 4 years, and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lecthym include: Antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idå®¹ fixe; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing thinking.

This epidemic is out of control. MMWR reports it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. Excessive exposure to country music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors. New CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's Will.

Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 Americans have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward. Evidently, Godlessness may well have its own rewards after all.

Some suggestions on a responce

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:04:22 GMT

I have a friend who has been working in UAE for about 15 years. He and his wife are wonderful people, but have a great hatred for Israel. As we were exchanging Christmas greetings, I wrote about the fundamental craziness that has taken over the USA and of Asa not wanting to go to the Gaza. This is the reply I received. I don't even know what to say. Any suggestions?

Thanks for your message. The USA is definitely in the wrong on this matter, not through indecency so much as through ignorance of the causes of the problem and of American culpability in exacerbating it, mainly through blind support of Israel, a country whose official government sanctioned terrorist acts (as opposed to the terrorism of individuals and militia only obliquely tolerated by the past gov't of Palestine, in so far as it was able to function at all under attack from Israeli occupation troops and warplanes constantly destroying infrastructure and neighborhoods, with people in them) are neither in America's interests nor compatible with our values. Unless of course your values allow the unleashing of war, murder, chaos, and occupation of a nation, as our government has done in Iraq, a crime that has by now surpassed in scale the immediate cause of the war on 9/11 (unless you figure the real cause of the war was G Jr. getting back at SH for dissing G Sr.). I have some reflections up at http://vancestevens.blogspot.com in case you're interested. Maybe I'll add the remarks above. I respect your ex-boyfriend for choosing jail over participation in the soul-destroying affront to humanity engaged in by our respective governments.